Mother’s Day is tomorrow.

For so many reasons, Mother’s Day is a hard day for me. It reminds me of the distance , both physical and emotional, between me and the ones I love. It reminds me of my dear Grandmother who passed away years ago and about how hard this day is for my own Mother. I feel acute empathy for my Mom for the loss of my twin sister each birthday, milestone and Mother’s Day that passes. It never gets easier–but she’s brave about it and I find that heroic.

My own journey, though not the same, has been marred by the loss of a much wanted child. When I was 18, I was pregnant with a son. For reasons I will never get to understand this side of Heaven, he didn’t get to stay with me. Mother’s Day is a weird surreal experience where I want desperately to say ” I am a Mother too ” and simultaneously hide from the world. Like I said, it never gets easier.

This year, I decided to redeem the day. I signed up for a 10km race on my own, and before I knew it, a few friends signed up. We began to support one another in getting ready for the race. Now for the first time in ages I am actually looking forward to tomorrow. I still have tears just behind my eyelids. I still lean in closely to the Holy Spirit for comfort. I still will take some time to thank Jesus for giving me the gift He did, regardless of how long I was able to keep him.

If you’re like me, and it’s a hard day for you too, I urge you to find a way to redeem it. Celebrate the women in your life who are mothers to you. Celebrate what might make you a mother to someone else. Thank the Lord for your life–it’s a pretty good one.

** I’d like to add, if you would like to join my support network and help me in this journey of radical obedience http://www.gofundme.com/cherylfolland follow this link to donate and share. Every little bit helps. **

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