Redeeming the Moment

Mother’s Day is tomorrow.

For so many reasons, Mother’s Day is a hard day for me. It reminds me of the distance , both physical and emotional, between me and the ones I love. It reminds me of my dear Grandmother who passed away years ago and about how hard this day is for my own Mother. I feel acute empathy for my Mom for the loss of my twin sister each birthday, milestone and Mother’s Day that passes. It never gets easier–but she’s brave about it and I find that heroic.

My own journey, though not the same, has been marred by the loss of a much wanted child. When I was 18, I was pregnant with a son. For reasons I will never get to understand this side of Heaven, he didn’t get to stay with me. Mother’s Day is a weird surreal experience where I want desperately to say ” I am a Mother too ” and simultaneously hide from the world. Like I said, it never gets easier.

This year, I decided to redeem the day. I signed up for a 10km race on my own, and before I knew it, a few friends signed up. We began to support one another in getting ready for the race. Now for the first time in ages I am actually looking forward to tomorrow. I still have tears just behind my eyelids. I still lean in closely to the Holy Spirit for comfort. I still will take some time to thank Jesus for giving me the gift He did, regardless of how long I was able to keep him.

If you’re like me, and it’s a hard day for you too, I urge you to find a way to redeem it. Celebrate the women in your life who are mothers to you. Celebrate what might make you a mother to someone else. Thank the Lord for your life–it’s a pretty good one.

** I’d like to add, if you would like to join my support network and help me in this journey of radical obedience follow this link to donate and share. Every little bit helps. **

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