Dear Family of God,

I am not someone else’s daughter. I am your queer daughter. I am not someone else’s sister. I am your queer sister.

I am next to you in your pew. I am teaching your children about Jesus. I am worshiping with you. I am leading you in worship.

You claim to love me, yet I am only welcome in your lives as long as I write this post anonymously. I am only welcome as long as I keep my hurting heart from beating too loudly.

As much as you believe that you have perfected the act of disagreeing with homosexuality while still remaining a safe space for me, you have not.

You are not a safe space. You are not safe.

When you tell me that my identity and love are equally as sinful as the murder that was committed against my LGBT family, you are unsafe.

When you convince yourself that my right to love is a political agenda, you are unsafe.

When you refuse to acknowledge that your LGBT brothers, sisters, daughters and sons are brave for expressing their existence and love for one another, you are unsafe.

I am not safe to cry in your pews or in your arms. Instead, I cry behind locked doors and inside of my car.

Today, as I was driving, I turned on a Christian radio station looking for worship music – anything that would be comforting. Instead, I found myself listening to a pastor talk about why “the church needs to stand their ground on traditional marriage more firmly than ever in the wake of this event”.

To avoid anger and to protect my own heart, I changed the station to a “secular” radio station. The song playing was “Stand By You” by Rachel Platten.

Within a few moments, I was crying hard enough that I needed to pull over my car.

Hands, put your empty hands in mine

And scars, show me all the scars you hide

And hey, if your wings are broken

Please take mine so yours can open, too

‘Cause I’m gonna stand by you

Read the rest on Jo Rutter’s Website : Jo Rutter

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