Tag Archives: fan friday

Fan Friday: About Sex

I had a great conversation with a friend last night about the place for sex in a relationship. At the risk of ruffling some feathers, I’d like to take the time to address what I believe on this sensitive subject.

In a culture that is sex positive, and belonging to the LGBTQ culture which is dramatically sex positive, I come across as archaic and old-fashioned IMG_1658in my beliefs. I believe that sex was designed by God to take place
within a committed covenant that over the centuries has evolved into what we now recognize as marriage. I word it this way on purpose. Marriage wasn’t always a state recognized union, and is some places it still isn’t.

In North American culture, our covenant unions are surrounded by  ceremonies and paperwork. In other cultures, if you sleep together you’re married. One thing h
olds true along this spectrum, sex is sacred and our culture has lost that.

IMG_1386I’m not here to shame anyone, I can only speak from my experience and my convictions. I believe the Bible is true, which is why coming to terms with my sexuality as “other than
straight” and Christian doctrine was so hard—is so hard—in the first place. There are more verses about covenant, marriage and faithfulness in scripture than I can count. Marriage is so important to God and to the LGBTQ community.

What are we gaining by promising to be with someone we haven’t really treated any different from the last person we were with?

We gave the last person(s) our heart, our mind, our body…we probably thought we’d be with them longterm too (unless it was casual sex—which I’ll leave for another discussion). What makes sexual intimacy intimate is that it’s sacredness isn’t for everyone to enjoy. It’s a promise to be vulnerable and fully open to another person. If you wouldn’t trust someone with your life, your heart and your future, why would you trust them with the most tender parts of yourself?

Ultimately, if you’re a Christian, you need to figure out where your convictions are in light of the Bible. Do you believe it has authority or is it a nice book to you? No judgement. My sincerest heartfelt hope is that you learn what your convictions are and live a life of integrity. Don’t feel pressured to feign someone’s idea of holiness and don’t feel pressured to be sex positive simply because the people you identify with most are doing it. there’s glorious freedom in knowing who you are in Christ and living accordingly.



Fan Fridays: The Roommate

I am pretty sure that aside from my mother, my roommate Megs is my biggest fan. So, with all that honour that her postition deserves, I’ve offered her the first question.

I thought that she would ask something fluffy, funny or hypothetical, instead, in true Megan style, she asked me one of the most important questions of my life:

“When did you know that you wanted to be a writer?”

Memories started to flood back to me of tiny Cheryl writing stories on her beige Windows 95 pc. My mom still has those 3.5 floppies that will never be accessed. Pretty sure I became the band manger for The Moffats in there somewhere. I remember my second grade teacher giving each student a picture of a pirate ship being attacked by a giant bird and telling us to write a story. While the other children wrote average seven-year-old tales, I wrote an epic story that took me the rest of the day and three pages of fullscap paper (for those who don’t know what this is, it’s longer than normal paper).

These would be good ways to showcase that I was already a writer, but not when I knew I wanted to be one.

I’ve always been fascinated with stories. We can probably blame my brother for that. He used to read to me when I was little, he’s a genius and about eighteen months older than I am. When he read to me, he would create incredible worlds. He spoke differently, and convincingly as each of the characters. He was so good at reading that I didn’t do much of it on my own until my teachers found out I couldn’t read my math problems.

I hoped with each story that I wrote, that one day, my stories would impact someone the way those stories had enchanted me. As I grew older, I let my idealist notion of being a worldchanging author die, but my writing never stopped. Academic papers, poems, songs, short stories, blogs, novels, articles and research proposals–I love writing, always have and always will.

Words are powerful. They give life and they contain life. How is it that we know history? Someone took the time to catalogue it. Scribes, authors, playwrites, historians and storytellers have always been important.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but it’s only in the last few years that I’ve found the courage.


Time for an Upgrade

Due to the amount of traffic to my previous blog, and to make a cleaner more professional impression–we have moved! In the past two months traffic has gone from 32 views a month to well over 1500.

Thank you to everyone for their support in this journey. I’m looking forward to bringing you content that is personal, passionate and authentic.

Fridays will be “Fan Fridays” moving forward. This is where you can write in, Tweet or Facebook me questions or issues that you’d like covered on the next week’s blog.

Are you a writer? Writer Wednesdays are a place where guest bloggers can have their work showcased. Send me an email follandcheryl86@gmail.com or a direct message on Twitter @cherylfolland to learn more. I’ll even do the editing for you!

Live your story, only you can do it. Talk to you soon.

~ Cheryl